Broken
by AnitaConDoin
Summary: Bella and Edward have been together for 7 years. 6 years and 6 months they were happy, how could something so good go so wrong in a matter of minutes? This is a one shot, all human, very angsty! There will not be a happy ending per say. ***WARNING CONTAINS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, MENTAL/EMOTIONAL ABUSE, MANIPULATION AND RAPE*** You have been warned


My name is... well I have several names, Bella Cullen, Bells, Baby, but my favourite is Mommy. Yes nothing makes me smile more then when my gorgeous baby girl curls up in to my lap and calls me Mommy. Nothing fills my heart with love more than having my princess, my life, my soul, kiss my cheek and tell me she loves me. As you can see my daughter is my everything.

Most people have dates that are important to them, anniversary's, birthdays etc. but I have important numbers. Seven, three, six and two. They change though, there not always the same maybe I should explain why.

Seven, it has been seven years since I first lay on eyes on my husband. Seven years since our eyes locked from opposite sides of the road. I knew right from the start that he was my forever.

Three, it has been three years since Reenesmee was born. Three years since I first held my everything in my arms and promised to love her with my whole heart and soul.

Six, it has been six months since I miscarried our second child. Six months since I've been truly happy. Six months since I felt that agonising pain rip through my womb, six months since the terror filled my entire being as I watched the blood run down my legs. Six months since my life went from a perfect dream to a horrific nightmare.

Two, it has been two months since I stopped loving my husband, my forever. This is a little harder to explain but I'll try.

After the miscarriage I became distant with Edward, I stopped touching him and kissing him but I always told him I loved him. I was too emotionally damaged to make love to him, this may be hard for other people to understand I know but I'd lost his child, how could I make love to him knowing that? Never once did I not tell him how much I needed him, how he was my forever. That wasn't enough for him; Edward has always shown his love physically.

The first two months he was very supportive, he would stop touching me when I became upset by it and just talk me through it instead. By the third month he had lost his patience and would start arguments when I pulled away from him.

"You don't love me anymore, do you?"

He would accuse and I would spend hours pleading and begging him to believe me when I said I did. He would accept my declarations of love after a while but would leave the house soon after to, "clear my head." I was terrified that he was cheating on me so I followed him one time. Thankfully he was just going to the pub. My Edward would never hurt me that way.

We carried on this way for the next month, the arguments moving from a daily occurrence to more than twice a day. I was exhausted, mentally, emotionally and physically as I had to pretend everything was fine for Reneesmee's sake. Then the fourth month came...

"Edward will you run me a bath while I tuck Reneesmee in?"

I asked tentatively. We had just had an argument but instead of leaving to go drown his problems in alcohol he had stayed and I was unsure how he would react.

"Of course baby, you want bubbles and candles?"

I was shocked in to silence, he hadn't called me baby in five months and he certainly hadn't done anything sweet or romantic for me in the last four.

"Yes please, if you don't mind, I mean I don't need them so you don't have to."

I managed to stutter out. He smiled, blew me a kiss and headed towards the bathroom. I smiled; finally we were making progress, getting back to how we used to be. My heart swelled with love and happiness for the first time in six months and I felt hope rise up through my body, it was going to be ok, we were going to be ok.

After kissing my baby girl goodnight I entered my bedroom, it had become my bedroom after the miscarriage, Edward slept on the couch. Bending over to get a towel from the drawers under the bed I suddenly felt him standing behind me. Shivers ran up my spine and a fear I've never felt around him before crept in to my heart.

Slowly I turned around to face him,

"Edward?"

I whispered, my voice couldn't produce anything louder I was so scared. Looking in to his eyes I didn't recognise my Edward, he just wasn't there.

"You look so beautiful baby,"

He took a step toward me and I backed up, my legs hitting the bed.

"Edward?"

I whispered again, my whole body began to shake as he advanced on me. Stopping in front of me, so close his breath fanned my face every time he exhaled, he cupped my cheek and whispered against my lips,

"I need you, I can't wait anymore. I won't wait."

He kissed me softly at first while unzipping his pants and freeing his hard cock but when I didn't respond he became more aggressive. He fisted his hand in my hair to hold my mouth against his as I began to struggle. I felt my tooth cut through my bottom lip, when he tasted the blood he growled and moved his lips across my cheek, over my jaw and down to my neck. As soon as my lips were free I started to beg.

"Please Edward, stop. I can't, please."

Over and over I begged but he paid no attention. He ripped my clothes off violently and pushed me back on to the bed. All I could think about was how we conceived both our children on this bed, it sickened me. Edward moved in between my legs and lay on top of me, pinning me down. I felt his naked, hard cock against my core and whimpered, not from lust but from fear.

I started begging again as he ground against me. He growled again once he realised I wasn't wet enough for penetration. He forced his fingers in to me painfully and worked them over my spot until my body had no choice but to respond.

Once I was wet enough he removed his fingers and lifted the top half of his body up, keeping my lower half pinned under him he looked in to my eyes. I desperately searched for my Edward, the Edward who would never hurt me, the Edward who had promised to make me feel safe forever but he wasn't there. I begged him again,

"Please Edward, don't do this."

He smiled and said,

"I love you baby,"

And with that he thrust himself in to me. Tears streamed down my face silently as he thrust in to me over and over. With each thrust he whispered,

"I love you."

And with each thrust I felt the hope I had felt earlier slip out of me, the love I had carried for Edward since that first day followed the hope until finally I was left empty and broken.

With one final thrust Edward yelled,

"I love you,"

and collapsed on top of me. I was still crying when he sat up und looked at me, slowly I watched my Edward return and the happy look on his face was replaced by horror and disgust. He backed up off me and moved to the door, all the while watching me with that sickened expression. He started shaking his head and whispering,

"no, no, no,"

over and over, it made me cry harder. Great sobs wracked my body but I made no sound. Suddenly he moved towards me, i was to numb to react, he picked me up and cradled me against his chest while chanting,

"I'm so sorry."

He carried me to the bathroom and placed me in the bath he'd lovingly ran for me and then, after removing his clothes, climbed in behind me. He held me close and told me he loved me while washing my body. I was still crying the tears just wouldn't stop. Once Edward was satisfied that I was clean he moved us back to the bedroom. After drying my body he placed me under the covers and climbed in behind me, pulling me close to him.

We both cried ourselves to sleep that night.

Edward promised to get help after that night, we both see therapists, together and alone. Things have improved but I still don't love him, I'll get there though. People don't understand why I stay and try to regain the love I once felt. I don't understand how they don't understand. I stay because of Reneesmee, seeing the love that's in her eyes when she looks at Edward, I just couldn't take that from her, so I stay.

Like I said, I'm getting there, we'll be a proper family again one day and I will no longer be broken.


End file.
